In the past even without him wearing the NeuroSuit for his outdoor exercises, we occasionally come across mothers with their kids in tow, who strike up a conversation. It doesnt happen often because our walks/exercises are usually on weekdays, when most mothers would be at work.
Now, when he has on his suit, he tends to attract more attention. That is fine by me, as most of them would be at a distance with a curious look on their face. I've got used to it.
Last Friday, at the Lake Gardens, a retired lady approached us while I was adjusting his suit. She was very direct, asking what he was wearing, with all the follow on questions from there.
I guess I entertained her out of politeness even though I was getting flustered, struggling to keep my son still enough so I could adjust his suit. What really got to me was when I realised she either wasnt really listening to my answers, or that she didnt believe me. I had earlier told her that my son can not only walk but run without the suit. After several more questions, my son broke into a run & she was totally taken aback by it, saying "He can RUN!". In my heart, I gave a silent "I told you!"
Turns out she's a retired principal who sold her kindergarten. She had a few special needs kids enrolled previously. She's now helping to raise funds for charitable organisations. She was very eager to help me without me giving the slightest indication of needing help. She took down my number saying that someone from the organisation will call me & share information on their contacts with me. She also gave suggestions implying them to be the miracle cure (do this & he'll be fine). For e.g.
- to improve his oral motor, get him to open his mouth wide & give a big hearty laugh.
- to help him catch up with his peers, get him to mix with other kids
Well, if only it were that simple, he'd be normal by now.
I know she has good intentions & meant well. I'm not in the least bit angry at her. In fact, there was a lesson or two or three in it for me:
I learnt that some people just love to give unsolicited advice to others. By helping others in that manner, they feel good inside. It didnt occur to them that I'm doing so much more with my son than what they think. However, in order for them to give help, there must be a party receiving the help. So, I decided that in future, when approached by such persons, I'll help them feel good inside by letting them feel they're helping me.
I've a new tactic to handle such situations too. I'll give polite short answers to their questions, without elaborating or explaining much. When they continue with more questions, I'll ask if they're from the medical profession. If they are, then I know how to cater my answers accordingly. Those in the medical profession would already be familiar with a lot of the terminology & saves me time & energy.
I've also learnt that I've to be careful myself, not to be one of those giving unsolicited advice!
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