This year I noticed there are more articles & seminars on the importance of play - articles in newspaper by play therapists, by commercial companies like Johnson & Johnson, by psychologists & seminars targetting parents of special needs kids.
My project 'clear out' started a few months ago & is moving very slowly. My heper & I have cleaned up, cleared out & rearranged stuff from my cupboard, some of my son's cupboards, the storeroom, kitchen cupboards etc. There's more to go.
I have a habit of keeping newspaper articles I find informative & of use (mostly related to bringing up children). Every so often, I go through them, sort them, file them or bin them. But there's always a small pile that I get parked in the 'miscellaneous' file.
A few days ago, I came across an old article, dated 16 Aug 2007. It was written by a mother of a special needs child on the importance of play. It was written before there was so much publicity on play. I could relate to it so easily & now realise that I'm not crazy in the approach to playing in my son's earlier years. I'll reproduce some of the excerpts that I found to be true for me because she expresses so well what I went through. I have a difficult time verbalising my thoughts & emotions especially during his earlier years.
"Having a child that is...behind standard developmental milestones, from sitting to walking, talking and writing, I feel I am constantly in a race. A race to get him onto the graph libe of that developmental chart."
"Teaching a special needs child is like going on a roller coaster ride,with no finishing line in sight."
"So really, we have no time to allow our children to indulge in free play. Every activity must be structured with an educational slant. Every task he performs must be analysed for its potential learning benefits. And we measure each toy we put into his hands by these standards". In my case, in the earlier years, it was not so much "educational" in the sense of academics but more in terms of developmental progress - e.g. does it help develop his gross motor, fine motor, hand eye co-ordination, visual stimulation, sensory integration type activities etc.
"I suppose it is a parenting instinct that when choosing toys for our kids, we often look at the educational value first, before we consider its potential for developing their creativity or imagination. However, with our special needs child, this urge to promote education and development is so much stronger, causing us to focus on toys for building motor skills, hand-eye coordination or activities to develop his reading, writing and counting abilities"
That about sums up what I look out for whenever I shopped for toys for my son, in the earlier years.
Dont get me wrong, my son does have his share of free playtime & creative play. He attended playgroup (for 'normal' kids), he plays ball games (football, bowling), goes often to the park to let loose, listens to kids music (not necessarily with an 'educational' slant), watches TV (again, not necessarily with an 'educational' slant, like Mr Bean!), he has his cars, train sets etc. But I think there is definitely more focus on getting in elements of gross motor, fine motor & speech activities compared to normal kids.
These days, I allow him to initially play with the toy as he wishes while I observe him and then only step in to direct the play in a certain manner towards either gross or fine motor & bring in elements of speech. I've allowed for creativity from young e.g. when drawing, painting, sand play, playing with wooden blocks, come up with imaginative stories.
These days, I'm a lot more relaxed. Partly because he's progressed so much (but there is still a developmental gap) & partly because I was such a highly stressed mother that I think I'm a bit burnt out. My health was impacted too. I've developed fatty liver despite not having the classic risk factors.
I do not know if I'm now doing too little with my son. My husband's begun to 'put the pressure back on' by asking more frequenty, whether he spoke more today, whether it's clear & understandable, or if he's lifting his leg up when walking etc. In a way he provides the balance to ensure I dont slack too much these days.
No comments:
Post a Comment