Learning to teach phonics

I had written in an earlier post about my visit to a child enrichment centre (see link:
http://humbledmum-myjourney.blogspot.com/2009/09/visit-to-child-enrichment-centre-5-sept.html)

What I didnt mention was that I also spoke to the teacher who teaches kids to read. My friend mentioned of a few other kids who've successfully been trained by her to read. She had also taken in a few (very few) special needs kids in her younger days.

She's very experienced. I told her my son has CP, which is a neuromuscular disorder, where his motor skills are affected & his intelligence is not affected. At the end of the conversation, I left quite disheartened. Here is a snippet of the 3 topics that she addressed one after another & affected me emotionally:

Can he write?
No. His fine motor skills are affected. But I work around that by using moveable alphabets.

Can he speak?
Yes, but softly & not clearly. His speech muscles are also affected.

Oh, so he'll have problems with spelling. What are you doing about his speech?
He sees a speech therapist once a month. It used to be weekly, but she says he's progressed well that it can be monthly.

Is he potty trained?
No. I'm trying to potty train him at home. He just wets himself all over.

Ah? (incredulous look on her face) Cant he be in diapers?
Oh, yes, he'll be in diapers when he comes for class.

But he could poo poo in class!
Well, class is only 45 min, once a week. Chances are not high that he'll poo during class. Anyway, if he does, I'll just change him.

I then had to divert the conversation to the things that my son can do, in terms of phonics & reading. I had brought along the homemade sheets (missing ending consonant & middle vowel) to show her. Having mentioned that he could do the ending consonant sheets but not the middle vowel ones, she immediately spotted my error. It was apparently because I was moving too fast, that I skipped a step.

She taught me that I had to teach him to blend a vowel & consonant. When I told her how he had problems identifying whether to use vowel a or vowel e in the missing middle vowel activity because they both sound the same, she taught me how to teach short vowel sounds.

She was in a rush for her next appointment. She said that she's fully booked, every day, from morning to 10 at night! She's a very popular teacher. My friend did say previously that in the past, there had been a waiting list to accept new students.

After my visit to the child enrichment centre, I was still emotionally upset. Mildly upset, not hugely upset cos I've had a similar experience at the kindergarten only worse.

Her questioning made me feel like the way I did when I first met the principal of his soon to be kindergarten. Questions were asked on what he could do, to which most of were answered with a "no, not yet" & followed on with a series of problems they the teachers would face.

I felt they just saw his disabilities & not his abilities. I was upset. I had expected teachers to assess the child as a whole & to accept whatever were the child's abilities & work from there.

I felt I had to fight for good education for my son. I felt I had to defend his abilities. I did not understand why they were so focused on what he cant do.

I could not work through my emotions. I didnt understand what I was feeling. I wondered if it's normal to feel that way even though at that time I didnt understand what I was feeling.

I talked about it with his CST therapist on Monday. She assured me that it's normal cos I'm his mum, his protector. She equated it to being asked whether you're a competent mum; it's as though they're asking if you're doing enough/doing the right things.

I know that this is my problem. It was I who was upset. I always have a choice in how I can react to a situation. This is something that I have to learn. But it's hard. It hurts when people 'reject' my child due to his disabilities. I cannot protect my child forever. It is a harsh world out there.

The teacher was merely being practical & going straight to the point in asking those questions. She was kind enough to point out my mistake in teaching him phonics. She was kind enough to give me tips on how to teach him the short vowel sounds. For that I'm grateful.

This story has a happy ending even though my son was not accepted as her student.

Early the next morning, she conveyed a message through my friend that she's willing to teach me so that I can teach my son (train the trainer concept) without charge. And that it'll be on-going in the sense that I can come back to her for help whenever I get stuck.

I was so happy! I had hope again! Everything seemed possible. God was good to have opened doors. God was gracious & provided help.