Life Cycle

When one of the most recent fishes died, he asked "what happened to big fish?" to which I replied that it died. He most likely doesn't yet understand the meaning of death. But he does seem to understand that death = sadness. The expression on his face changed, as if he was about to cry. Subsequent repeats of that question from him did not however, bring about the same expression.

Another occasion, he asked "where is big fish now?". I was taken by surprise and had no ready answers for that. So in the same vein as other kids who have asked where are their pet dogs after they died, I answered "Big fish died. Maybe it's in fish heaven."

So on a separate subsequent occasion I thought I start introducing the cycle of life. The female fishes that papa bought looked kinda pregnant, with bulging tummies (only one survived tho). I'm hoping that there'll be baby fishes soon so he can see first hand how babies grow, and later have more babies of their own.

Moving on from fishes, on a recent night before he fell asleep, he was in a very chatty mood (if he's not too tired out, he's quite chatty before he falls asleep). The topic of conversation somehow changed to something like this: me explaining to him "you need a boy fish and a girl fish to make baby fishes. Just like you, you came about because of mama and papa". Then he put his hand on my tummy and patted it, saying "yes, there...from small grow big, big, bigger". Ooo, I was surprised!

I know that I had in the past talked to him about a picture of a pregnant lady doing an ultrasound. It was in the Positive Parenting magazine or perhaps the Fit for Life section of The Star, and I was just flicking through it with him, looking at pictures. It might have been on more than one occasion. But I didnt think it got registered in his memory! Perhaps I should start scouting around for books or tips on how to explain where babies come from, in preparation for that question? Tips on handling that question in language that is appropriate for a 4 year old kid, are warmly welcomed!

I do have some story books kinda broaching that topic, but in the context of the animal kingdom. One is a cloth book, "First Things First", showing amongst other things, a caterpillar growing up to be a butterfly; a boy growing up to be a man; a girl growing up to be a woman.

Another book borrowed from Elly, titled Monkey Puzzle (author Julia Donaldson, writer of the Gruffalo) highlights the point that baby monkeys look like their parents, but a baby butterfly does look like a smaller version of an adult butterfly. It's very well written, rhymes, easy to read aloud, easy for him to understand, love the illustrations too.

Another book I remembered that perhaps touched on it is the classic Ugly Duckling story. Though not about the life cycle, it does show ducks/swans start off as eggs, then hatch, and the ducklings (I forgot what's a baby swan called) then into adult beautiful swans.

I had shown him real tadpoles when we were at the Tmn Tun lake. But I dont know if it requires him to actually see a tadpole growing bigger, losing its tail, growing legs, and finally turning into a frog for him to appreciate it. A website had suggested keeping tadpoles and breeding them for that purpose. I hesitate to take that path...too icky.

I had also shown him the displays in the educational room of the Butterfly Park (cocoons, butterflies etc) but again, I dont know if it registered in his memory. I hope it did, but if not, I'm sure we can go there again (for the third time!).