This article appeared in The Star newspaper back on 12 July 2007. I had saved the article. I have a few more articles to share in my blog. You see, I'm trying to organise my newspaper clippings that I've kept all this while. By sharing them with you now, I'm also refreshing my memory. I inserted the yellow highlights as those "spoke" to me. I hope the yellow highlights do not turn out to be too distracting.
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It is important that parents raise their children to be successful in life, as well as to be good people.
WHEN asked what they want for their children, most parents say that they want them to be happy. This sounds simple but, sadly, many children who are indulged by their parents are not happy. They have to live up to their parents’ expectations, with little thought for their own dreams.
Their parents want them to be independent and to stay tuned to their expectations. Most parents work hard at getting children to do what they want them to. It is not surprising; therefore, that many children find learning a chore and feel uninspired.
Having good grades and staying at the top of the class are two common objectives that children state, when asked what they want in life. While some parents and teachers believe that there is more to life than just school, children are not convinced. They dare not be different from others. They want what others want. The problem does not lie with the other children. It is their parents who groom them for the rat race – to do well in their studies and collect paper qualifications.
Inspiring children goes beyond teaching them. Learning should be a process. We only enjoy learning when it is fun. Unfortunately, many people do not have positive learning moments in school. Instead, they recall the pressure of exams and of having to answer the teacher’s questions correctly, and handing up homework on time. However, some have good memories of a particular teacher who put in the extra effort to make lessons interesting.
Does your child open his books only during exam time? Then it is time for a change. He must have passions in life, even if he is as young as eight. He ought to have a role model – someone who inspires him to contribute to society and do well. It is important that parents raise their children to be successful in life, as well as to be good people.
Parents are their children’s role models. For children to be convinced that their parents are good role models, the adults have to be genuine in their thoughts, values, feelings and actions. Children can see through feigned behavior. They become disappointed when they realize that their parents don’t do what they tell their children to do.
Instead of yelling and shouting at or scolding children for not doing what they should do, parents should inspire their children to do better by creating an environment of support in which children can develop their own ideas, take chances and express their opinions and feelings. Most of all, children should feel confident so that they develop into strong individuals. Parents need to know what their children understand and are interested in.
When conversing with a child the parent should also listen to what the child has to say. Children have ideas and opinions that are worth listening to. They need to be encouraged to listen to their hearts and trust their inner voices.
Talk to your children about your values and beliefs, and how they help you to overcome obstacles and face challenges in life. Tell them about the people who inspire you. Your children’s minds will be freed from the limitations they think they have. Once children dare to take on challenges, to be different and to go the extra mile, they will find success in all that they set their minds on.
Parents often feel it is necessary to tell children what to do and what not to do, such as not taking drugs or having pre-marital sex. Parents always remind children of how many mistakes they have made and remind them not to repeat those misdeeds. Yet, they hardly speak of things that appeal to the child’s good nature. Many children do not know they are good.
Most parents tend to fill their children’s minds with doubts. They fail to help them understand that they can be their own teachers, that they are not just learners. Children are inquisitive and not lazy. They want to try things out rather than wait to be told what to do. They listen attentively to the stories that adults tell them so that they can look forward to the future, having understood what happened in the past.
If children’s minds are packed with positive ideas and inspiring stories, they will be able to do their own problem-solving. Adults forget that the human mind is more versatile than anything else in the world. With an inspired mind, the child will grow confidently, knowing that “the sky’s the limit” and anything is possible.
- Ruth Liew, 2007
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