First month in new class

I meant to share this piece of good news with you a few weeks ago but he was down with the cold and more recently, down with a stomach flu.

Since the new academic year started on 3rd Jan, he’s attended kindergarten without me and without a shadow aide! A big milestone for him!

For the few weeks before school started, I was rather anxious as I didn’t know whether they required him to be with a shadow aide. I didn’t wish to bring it up to them prior to school starting cos I feared that they would take the opportunity to require him to have a shadow aide.

The first day

The first few minutes of meeting the teacher for the first time on the first day was a bit awkward as I didn’t know if I’m supposed to be with him. I was happy that she preferred that I wasn’t there (she explained it’s because she wanted him to be more independent) but I was really worried too.

School was dismissed early at 11.15am on the first three days to ease the kids back into the academic year. They had prepared a coffee corner for the parents who wished to wait there for the kids.

I was extremely anxious so I chose to wait there. Luckily there was another mother (an ex-colleague) who was also waiting there, so I chatted with her (it seemed like a long chat cos I was so anxious). I only took a peek to see how he was doing during snack time (I was worried he might gag/vomit/can’t open his drink). The rest of the time, I distracted myself by reading the papers.

Subsequent days

On the second and third days, I chose to head home as I didn’t feel comfortable amongst the other parents and their topics of conversation – it’s just a different world that I live in.

I try to arrive a few minutes early just to speak to the teacher each day but sometimes we arrive just before the bell rings so I don’t always get that chance. Now that I’m not with him, I don’t know how he’s coping, what his specific needs are, what areas he’s progressing well in, how his friends perceive him etc.

Reporting back

We were worried that he was not able to report back to us things that happen in school, especially things that bother him. In the first week, I couldn’t get any information out of him despite asking open questions and specific questions. I only got a few one word answers. When I asked him how was school, his usual reply was “It was good”. When asked if he liked his teacher, he’d reply “Yes”. When asked if she was fierce, he replied “No”. When asked if she shouted or scolded him, he said “No”.

One day he returned home with a party pack. He wasn’t able to tell me the name of his friend who celebrated his birthday. He could though, tell me (via specific closed questions) it was a boy and he was a new friend (ie. not from his previous class). It’s important that he learns the names of his classmates in case anyone of them does something to him which he doesn’t like.

When he returned back to school after his 2 week absence due to a cold, there was more information (bits of it anyway) forthcoming from him.

Once while walking to the car after picking him out from school, he told me he “did reading”.

One night while getting ready for bed, he told me that Wednesday is pronounced as “whens-day” rather than “WED-nes-day” according to his teacher.

Another time, also before bedtime, he asked if there were bones in his body. I told him there were but octopuses and squids didn’t. I thought he was recalling something he watched on TV. He then told me there were lots of bones in the hand. He then told me the head bone is called the skull. I remembered that I taught him that many months ago. Back then I had talked to him about the skeletal body, showed him a well illustrated book belonging to his CST therapist on the body and the full sized skeleton she had in her house.

However when I next had the chance to talk to the teacher (when he returned back to school after his absence due to the stomach flu), the teacher confirmed that she had taught them about the bones in their body!

After that incident, I was hopeful that in future, he might tell me more about what happens in class. I am still worried whether he would tell me if something’s bothering him. So far, he’s just telling me what teacher taught, not what his friends did or said, and not what he finds difficult. For example, if it weren’t for the teacher checking with me over the shoe incident (see below) I wouldn’t have known about it.

His Teacher

Teacher said that he’s fine, he’s ok. I think she’s referring to him not having behavioural problems, that he can follow instructions, that he knows his numbers etc.

Teacher is pushing him a little in certain areas, to get him to improve. She tried to get him to colour on the first few days (he’ll only colour if I help him!), to get him to move faster (e.g. close his tumbler faster), to get him to put down his left arm, to talk louder etc.

On Monday (24th Jan), she asked if it’s alright with me if he takes part on Sports Day because she wanted him to and she noticed that he can run. I was happy to hear that she wanted him included (and that implicitly she didn’t feel that sports is all about winning only). She said not to worry about that “the powers that be” might not want him participating.

On Wednesday morning (26th Jan), she asked if he complained about the teacher the previous day. He didn’t. She explained that he couldn’t put on his shoes after completing the e-teaching lesson (For 2011, e-teaching is done in a new room and no shoes allowed in). He apparently called out to his friends for help (I’m amazed!) but teacher told his friends not to help him, as she wanted him to learn to do it himself. She said that he cried (he said he “cried” without tears i.e. protest) and struggled. Teacher helped him a little and noted that his fingers got in the way of inserting the strap through the D ring on his shoe and his fingers weren’t strong enough to pull the Velcro straps tightly. He can take his shoes off easily by himself but I explained that he’s still in the process of learning to put on his shoes. It’s a slow tiny step by step process that requires loads of practice for each tiny step.

At home, I’ve showed him short cuts to putting on his shoe and he doesn’t seem to have a huge struggle with it (just a slight struggle) but things are different in school, I guess. So I’m now thinking of buying a normal pair of white canvas school shoes for him, just to make things a little less stressful for him in school. It’ll mean having to learn how to put on not just his custom-made black shoes, but also his new pair of school shoes. I’ll buy them after CNY.

Settling in

I’d say that after the first month, he’s still in the process of settling in but is making good progress, especially in light of the 2 weeks of absenteeism due to his cold and stomach flu.

In the first week of starting school there were a few nights where he woke up in the middle of the night crying and it was a bit difficult to soothe him back to sleep. I suspect it might be him adjusting to attending kindergarten on his own.

Better things to come

However, he seems happy going to class each morning. He’d run along the corridor towards his class. He’d happily choose a place on the floor to sit amongst his friends. He usually gives me a big smile before I walk away.

I believe there’ll be further progress in his social skills, his confidence, his self care skills, self regulation, and in terms of his academic abilities, with the right support from his class teacher and acceptance from his classmates.