A few months back, my best friend asked whether he has friends in school. Back then I wasn’t sure of the answer. Now, I think I can say that he DOES have friends!
He names 2 kids as his friends – a boy J, and the Japanese girl. She is sweet, gentle and smart, but I think his “crush” on her has waned. He no longer seeks her out to sit with her during circle time. Instead, he finds J to sit next to him.
He has yet to learn to use his words to say “excuse me please”. He instead acts like a VIP, whereby the person sitting next to J, has to move to the side to make way for my son to sit next to J. Sigh.
J is a gentle and kind boy who has taken a liking to my son. He shares a book with my son. He kinda plays with my son. Sometimes he mimics the funny action that my son does. Sometimes he makes funny faces at my son. Sometimes he puts his arm on my son’s shoulders. Sometimes he places his palms on my son’s cheeks and gently squeezes. Sometimes he gently strokes my son’s hair (I guess he sees my son as a baby to some extent) Sometimes they partner each other when lining up in twos.
About 2 weeks ago during play time, my son was looking for a group to join in. The other kids finished their snacks way earlier so were well into their games. My son approached a girl V, who was playing with another boy, and she didn’t want my son there. So she gave him 2 blocks and told him to go somewhere else (or so I gathered from their body language cos I was too far to hear her). She did the same to another boy (also special needs) the very next moment. Teacher saw it and advised her that it was not a nice thing to do, and suggested a different way.
Then last week at the playground during PE time, the very same girl, V, intentionally came to befriend my son. She held his hand and ran around with him, invited him to play the slide, followed behind him as he climbed the stairs to the top, slid down after him, smiling all the time. They went on to play on the merry-go-round-thingy with other kids. At the playground, the kids move 3 times faster than my son. They don’t wait for my son. So it really surprised me that someone was playing with him. I was cautiously happy to see that, cos I wondered if teacher had told her to take care of my son. I was even happier when teacher told me that she didn’t suggest or prompt V to do that.
There are 2 other girls, S and CSH who took a liking to my son from months back. But they definitely see him as a baby and treat him as such. They sometimes squeeze his cheeks (he’s learning to tell them to stop when he doesn’t like it). They sometimes carry him (he’s quite a bit smaller than them). They sometimes bring his bag or water bottle to him. They sometimes seek him out to be his partner when lining up in twos. CSH often tells me that my son is so cute.
Sure his cuteness gets him some mileage now. But he must have more confidence to speak and speak loud enough and with clarity.
My next challenge is to find play friends to meet on a regular basis outside school, as suggested by his music teacher to help him along his development. I say “challenge” cos he only has weekends free. For other kids however, weekends are usually precious family time especially when their mothers work and they most likely attend enrichment classes. There is someone I have in mind but have yet to broach the subject, and it’ll most likely only be in Dec during the school holidays. From next week onwards, he’ll be doing HBOT (Hyperbaric Oxygen Treatment) which is very intensive, and finish in early Dec.
I pray that his social skills continue improving and that he will always have good friends throughout his schooling years and beyond.
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