School entrance assessment

It was a big day for my son. It was the day of the assessment to see if he'd be accepted into an international school (for normal kids). All kids must go through an assessment regardless of age, even little ones entering Nursery at age 3!

I didnt tell him about the assessment. The night before I merely told him that there wont be kindergarten the next day and we'd instead be visiting the big boy school. I didnt want him to be nervous or worried.

Two weeks ago, I was informed of the date of the assessment. Surprisingly I was at peace for most of the 2 weeks.

But a two days ago, I started being anxious. It didnt helpt that I wasnt sleeping properly - I still wake up several times at night to check if he's sweating (he'd catch a cold if he sweats and is not changed out of his wet pyjamas) or if he's too cold (he kicks off the blanket sometimes).

I was so tensed that I decided to cancel yesterday's therapy session. I was having a headache for 2 days running, obtaining relief from panadol. It might affect my son so I let him choose where to go yesterday afternoon. (He had been asking to "go somewhere" the past week or so. I guess he needed a break too) It was too hot for the park, so we settled for the craft place where he makes cardboard vehicles.

He was happy there, as usual! I ended up having 30mins of upper body massage at Thai Odessy which was amazing! It was painful, but it really released those knots.

We both slept fairly well last night even though I still woke often to check on him. His runny nose which was continuous for almost 2 months stopped about 5 days ago - just in time! Thank you God!

We were slightly late in leaving the house but since I had factored in extra time for the journey, we arrived early. Phew! Getting him out of the house on time in the mornings can be quite stressful at times.

We sat with another mom who was there early. I was fairly at peace while waiting and so was my son. It was a quite spot where I could observe other kids walking by. I didnt talk much to the other mom as I didnt want to be stressed. Her son was applying for entrance to Nursery (that's when I found out 3yr olds also have to sit for assessments!)

We were taken to the classroom for the assessment. Class was on going for the Reception year kids. As I entered the room, he started crying! I was very patient, spoke in a calm even voice to him, encouraging him, explaining to him, distracting him with the kids' work pinned up, with the other kids going by, with the many colourful displays in the room. He kept saying that he's not a big boy yet, that he wanted to go home. This went on for about 30mins. Not good.

All the while, the teachers in the room went about their tasks. One said that I cant be in the room when assessment was being run. Later the other said that they cant do the assessment if he's crying. I was getting worried as surely the teachers' patience was wearing thin. I explained that my son is shy, but was told that independence (being able to separate from me) was one of the things that they assess. Sigh. Surely there are kids who cry on their first day of school?

Fyi, the only other kid also taking the assessment at the same time was teary eyed but managed to be brave enough to go in without the parents and sat with the other kids while they sang.

My chance came when they broke up into groups for table based activities. I quickly moved to the one that involved reading a story book.

I asked one of the teachers if I could just leave him there with her (even though he was still scared and teary). She said, yes if I felt it would help him stop crying (ie he'd not cry if I werent around). I was risking it. It was now or never.

I squatted beside him, then behind him, very very slowly distancing myself as she started on the books with the kids. He kept on holding my hand, or checking that I was there...but as she got into the book proper, I made a quick getaway.

You see, he loves books and I think he knows that he is good at reading. That probably gave him the confidence he needed.

I stood behind the wall, outside the classroom, afraid to move for fear that he'd see me and start crying again (the wall was between 2 doors that had glass panels).

The uncle of the other kid was looking in, checking on his nephew but also checked on my son. Thank goodness for that kind soul as he understood how nerve wrecking it was. He was there to give moral support to his sis, brother in law and nephew.

The good news started flowing in. I could breathe easy.

The uncle was feeding me with little updates: He was reading...He's not crying... He was taken to the other table with the other teacher.... He was colouring.... He's doing really well...I think he'll make it... He's writing.

Suddenly, the other kid was taken out of the room by one of the teachers. Apparently, he was crying non-stop for a while. They couldn't do an assessment. Mom and dad had to console him. Eventually, he went in again, but with mom for quite a while. Mom later came out but he stayed on.

At two instances, I left the area to check out the canteen's condition during snack time. I wanted to know how crowded it might be and what was served etc.

When I came back after the second visit to the canteen, teacher was bringing him out of the class. I tried to stay out of his view as the teacher explained that they were moving to another room to continue the assessment. Though he didnt see me, he knew I was there (teacher said "oh, there's your mom!"). But he was alright. He was happy. He was smiling, wanting to show me the worksheet in his hand. My brave boy!

I waited around with the mom of the other kid entering year 1, while they continued the assessment. We chatted. After seeing my son smiling, I was less anxious, and could chat. She thought my son would surely get in. I didnt reveal his disability.

When it was over, I asked the teacher how he did. She said that "...he's a bright boy...academically, no problem...he could read"

However, she noted he has fine motor issues. She noted his pencil grip was odd, and probably his colouring (more like scribbles) gave it away too. She might have noticed that he pulled up his pants in an odd manner too.

She explained that it was not her decision to make whether to accept my son or not. She'd have to write her report, pass it to the principal who'd then decide. She wasnt sure if my son could keep up with his peers given the fine motor issue. We expect to hear from them end of the month.

I was disappointed. My mind was running wild replaying the morning's events, and with what if questions. I couldnt think straight.

My son's chances didnt look good even though he is academically bright. They have a long waiting list, something like a ratio of 4 kids to 1 place. They can easily pick and choose the best ones, the perfectly normal ones who are bright.

Various dealings with the school have given me the impression that they only want perfectly normal bright kids. The mom of the 5yr old kid was under that impression too. The parent who waited with me prior to the assessment was outraged that her 3 yr old needed to be assessed, and that a report needs to be written up. It's their school. How do we change the rules when there are lots more parents knocking on their door.

We headed home. We went for an early lunch and caught a movie. It was the first time I brought him to the cinema. I wasnt sure what to expect. He was fine! He loved the comfy chair, and enjoyed the movie, Rio. It helped that there was only 4 other patrons in the small screen (lots of breathing space to relax and a clear view of the screen).

I only started to calm down and feel better around 6pm, after a brief rest and a shower (and pest control fumigating our house).

It's not cast in stone yet. He still has a chance of getting in. I've a few friends praying along - thank you from the bottom of my heart!

It's in God's hands now. I will trust in Him. I give thanks for so many things: for the chance to do the assessment; that my son really did do his best; that my son has come so so so far that they only spotted his fine motor issue and think he's bright; that God has guided us thus far in helping him progress; for His peace that passes all understanding!

Even though I will be disappointed if he doesnt get in, right now, I celebrate all that my son is and all that he has achieved. He is amazing! I love him, love him, love him to bits!