Friday, June 18, 2010

Must I get down on all fours and grovel?

I had recently paid the kindergarten’s fees for Term 2 (the next 6 mths).


I was not looking forward to meeting the administrator. Yeah, the issue of the RM500 paid in June last year is still unresolved and each time I bring it up, she has a different thing (version) to say.

While waiting for another parent to finish with the administrator, the principal came out to ask my opinion about some special needs stuff (she freelances in helping special needs kids). That helped to distract me from the impending encounter, calmed my nerves, and gave me a bit more confidence.

I’ll just briefly go into what transpired.

When she saw the copy of the scanned cheque I obtained from my bank (oh the joy of technology!) she was silent. When I asked if there was a difference when the payee is the BM name of the school versus when the payee is the English name of the school, she finally broke the silence with a “yes”.

That’s when she incriminated herself. She changed her story. She says she would have allowed me to use the 500 for the holiday programme. Previously, she said school fees are different from holiday programme fees and can’t be used to pay the latter. There were other things she said too that contradicted what she told me in previous encounters.

Now though, she says she would never had asked me to write the payee as the BM entity. (The holiday programme fees were paid to the BM entity). Sigh. How else would I have known who to make the cheque out to if it wasn’t she who instructed me in the first place when I wrote it out in front of her in June 2009? Back then she had accepted the cheque after inspecting it and issued a receipt (which I unfortunately lost). Do you think she’s covering up for her mistake?

I got a lecture for causing so much trouble over this cos she now has to figure a way out and to explain to the auditors. She was “gracious” enough to relent but not before giving me an earful on how grateful I should be that they accepted my son and how much they went out of their way to accommodate my son.

She told me that she made it very clear to the teachers not to reveal that it was my son who had H1N1 and if parents insisted on knowing, then she would deal with those parents in her office. I thought that in the first place, it’s only professional that any kindergarten would not divulge such info. Granted that this is Malaysia though, maybe it is a big deal that she made that effort?

Anyway, I hope this is the end of the RM500 issue.

Now, more importantly, I want to share the following:

She said that there are NO places in Malaysia for kids like my son. There are schools for normal kids. There are govt schools that take in special needs kids but he doesn’t belong there either. There's nothing in between. She implied that I should be extremely grateful to them (her) for accepting my son.

I am grateful that my son has the opportunity to socialise and be familiar with a kindergarten setting. But, from this encounter with the administrator I have this to say to other parents of special needs kids...

- his kindergarten is by no means the ONLY kindergarten that accepts special needs kids. I know of a few other kindergartens (less than 5) who are open to special needs kids (email me if you want to know). It’s just that this was infrastructurally more suited to my son (lots of windows, spacious classroom, very near our home).

- It’s hard but don’t be discouraged in searching for a place of education for your special needs child. Talk to other parents. Find out. Don’t give up.

- Stand your ground on important matters. We should not be treated as second class just because our child has special needs. Of course, be grateful for all forms of help that come our way. I am. But it should not mean we MUST grovel for it.

I’ve been following this blog for some months http://bloom-parentingkidswithdisabilities.blogspot.com/
It has given me a peek into what it’s like for parents with disabled kids in US/Canada. The amount of help and support from the government, specialists, NGOs, etc is incredible compared to what we have here.

Perhaps by having more people know what we’re lacking in Malaysia (in this area), we can then initiate change for the better. Change can begin with one person.

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